T-Minus one sleep until I embark on a significant chapter—a decision to undergo explant surgery, bidding farewell to the implants that have been part of my identity for 18 years.
My story begins as a young adult, fresh from a fitness show, seeking a quick fix for the perceived breast imperfections post-competition. What started as a quest for physical perfection became a journey entangled with self-image and evolving perceptions of beauty at a young age. Little did I know that the decision to get breast implants would not only alter my physical appearance but also become intertwined with my identity. The initial dissatisfaction with my body was not magically erased with the surgery; instead, it evolved into a complex relationship with self-image.
As the years unfolded, so did my journey towards self-discovery. A call to authenticity led me to scrutinize every aspect of my beauty routine, shedding artificial enhancements one by one and even letting my gray hair flourish. I know it’s like a contradiction to the beauty industry, but my journey has brought me on a path of self-discovery, wanting to reintroduce my own self to the real me. This is the phase I’m finding myself in, maybe it’s just for now, but maybe I will fall in love with the authentic me. There’s something so empowering in stepping into this.
Amid this quest to be a more natural version of beauty than I’ve been in the past, it started because health concerns have quietly loomed in the background—symptoms of breast implant illness were brought up many times, and I denied them for years. It started with the questions of why I suffered for years with infertility. Of course that was in the back of my mind. I will never know the answer to that one and Ive come to terms with it and now locked that away. Then years later, the aftermath of a car accident intensified more mysterious symptoms, a flipped implant, rashes and inflammation leading to ICU hospital visits, autoimmune & allergy tests, and now I’m dealing with a mysterious lump in my breast that we’re still navigating. After many visits to the drs & juravinski clinic for imaging The cause remained elusive. Frustrated and seeking answers, when I first visited my surgeon after the accident I was was denied for removal because of the acute stage of the TBI. I was feeling deflated emotionally & now I’ve now been approved for surgery, He suggested explantation and exploratory surgery, sending in samples, and it’s becoming a turning point.
My youthful pursuit of a perpetual competition-ready body is long gone; I feel like now I’m confronting the reality of feeling okay with my more mature body & mind as well as getting to the bottom of everything. The decision-making process has intensified with all that. My surgeon was opting for a Robertson lift after the explant because it was the safest choice, though it comes with the downside of more prominent scars It’s the safest route to take.
Choosing between another implant and a lift brought about a profound internal dialogue I had to work through. The decision this time was not based on aesthetics but on the long-term well-being of my body. It reflects a personal evolution. This journey is more than a physical transformation; it’s a testament to the importance of prioritizing my health over societal ideals.
The upcoming surgery represents not just the removal of physical implants but the unveiling of a truer, more authentic self. Like it or not It’s a journey into the unknown; I’m putting my trust into my surgeon’s hands with hopes the outcome will be better, but also acknowledging that scars will remain. What I know is that they will tell the story of resilience and self-advocacy.
To those contemplating a similar path and considering implants, I want my message to be clear: I extend my knowledge through my story, not in judgment but in shared humanity. Decisions around our bodies are profound, personal, and often complex. Not to be judged but informed. All I ask is that you do your research because I know you would be surprised to see how many people and celebrities are opting to have removals now because of so many facts that are out there. We even know surgeons forgoing providing implant surgeries now when it’s the number one requested service. These surgeons are starting to turn down the service, knowing the moral and ethical decisions may outweigh the dollars gained. That being said, there are still those who still do it and deny any illness could come of it. Finding your own truth is important; I know there was a time years ago no one would deny the service it’s becoming a controversial subject. This is my story and my thoughts on the topic & all I know is that things are changing!
My story isn’t a condemnation; it’s an invitation to navigate these choices informed and empowered. Again, do your research, be informed, and if you choose to go through with it, you’ll be better prepared for the consequences. I wish I knew all this two decades ago. My hope is that by sharing my story, I contribute to the understanding of the complexities surrounding implants and our decisions to get them or not.
To every person facing decisions about their bodies, may we individually find the strength to embrace our fears & wishes. Here’s to authenticity, empowerment, and the beauty that radiates from within all of us💫
As I approach this transformative moment, I extend a fun, playful & symbolic “HOORAH” in this image. Here’s to the ladies, recognizing the BIG 😉 role in my past and embracing the liberation that I know will come with letting go, scars and all! ✌🏻
Fun photos by Mel @ box photography 🤍